


Key Performance Indicators: A Konoha Story

by drelfina



Series: The Konoha Performance Incentive [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate timeline of Alternate Universe, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Konoha politics, M/M, Other, Porn With Plot, Rape/Non-con Elements, Spitroasting, Timeline What Timeline, Uchiha Clan-centric, Whump, life sucks for the Uchiha and any chuunin really, predatory behaviour, terrible jounin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 02:50:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18459923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drelfina/pseuds/drelfina
Summary: Alternative title: Incentives and Benefits for Greater Employee EngagementIf Itachi had had a choice, he would have chosen to be anything but shinobi.*In an insanely dark and fucked up universe, Konoha has a unique way of encouraging ambition and skill cultivation by offering up their chuunin to jounin as perks of their position. Itachi is an Uchiha. He should have been protected by the Clan's name.





	Key Performance Indicators: A Konoha Story

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [a shining knight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449444) by [sweetsinnerchild](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsinnerchild/pseuds/sweetsinnerchild). 



> So this is an inspired work lol, by Sweetsinnerchild's [a shining knight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449444). We'd banged out the worldbuilding of this AU, and she went with KakaIru. This is Itachi's backstory, but the next one in this little series probably would be ItaIru, so it's technically an alternative universe/timeline of _a shining knight_. 
> 
> I'd _say_ that it isn't my usual tone for my fic, but I'd be lying.

If Itachi had had a choice, he would never have become shinobi. 

But he had made the poor choice of being born to the Uchiha clan, where he was given a kunai as soon as he could pick something up and hold onto it. 

He'd heard of the tradition with civilians; the hopeful parents laid out a variety of items in front of their infant, and what it picked up was their future job. 

String, horse shoe, hammer. Seamstress, blacksmith, carpenter. 

In front of Itachi, the choices had been kunai, a shallow bowl of water, and chakra paper, presented to him on an Uchiha fan. It was a given that he would be Shinobi - Uchiha, and a wielder of the sharingan, no matter how long it took for him to activate. 

Taijutsu, genjutsu, and ninjutsu. 

Itachi didn't have a choice. It had been made for him. 

*** 

Itachi was a child of war, remembering the violence, and how all shinobi members of his clan came back fewer each time. 

Itachi was four when it ended, but he still remembered being given a kunai to help protect himself, as his mother, huge with his younger brother, wielded her own naginata in defense of their village. 

By the time he entered the academy at six years old, his baby brother was barely one, and the number of jounin in his Clan numbered just two - his father, and his fourteen year old cousin, Shisui. 

As the treasured Heir of the Uchiha Clan, of course his father had high hopes for him, and within six months of entering the academy, the teachers decided Itachi should test out of the Academy. 

That had made Father proud, of course, he had taken the time to say so, taking dinner with them the night that the teachers had graduated him out of the academy. A week later, when Shisui had returned from one of his many missions, Shisui had congratulated him, and brought him a small box of azuki dango from just outside Konoha, just for him, he didn't have to offer it to his baby brother, even if Sasuke couldn't eat dango yet. 

"You do the Clan proud, Itachi-kun," Shisui had said, hugging his shoulders the way that only Mother did, and even so rarely. 

"Thank you, Cousin." Itachi liked when Shisui hugged him; he always smelled good, never hugged too hard, but he felt safe, leaning against him. "You really think so?" 

"My little serious cousin!" Shisui laughed. "Already tested out of the academy even barely after you entered, you don't need to ask my advice anymore, not your stupid old Cousion ne?" 

"You are not stupid, cousin." 

Shisui just laughed and prodded the box of dango. "Go on, eat it." 

Itachi was just six. His first few missions were simple things, mostly within the Village. It wasn't like he could slash a man's neck from where he stood, but he could serve as look out, a distraction. 

"I want to go on missions to help you, cousin," Itachi once said to Shisui, on the rare times he was back in the Compound, another cousin helping bind his wounds. 

"Eh, it's good for you to help your Father and the Clan," Shisui said, and even pale from blood loss and weak from the use of his sharingan, Shisui had a smile for him. "You're still young. Focus on your ninjutsu, ne?" 

As much as Itachi had enjoyed being in the academy, he couldn't help but want to help his family more. If Father had more people he could trust, he would come home more often. If Shisui wasn't the only one taking high risk missions all the time to help the Clan's finances, he would be less injured, he'd be in Konoha longer. 

*** 

Post-war Konoha was still filled with unrest - there had been many villages and clans of shinobi before the main villages in each country had coalesced, subsuming many of these scattered tiny families and clans into the large thriving machinery of a Hidden Village. 

Not all of said tiny clans and families were entirely happy. Nor were the other Villages pleased with what their neighbours and competition got. 

Shisui had been out of the Village for two days when Father called Itachi into a room with a visitor dressed like a Village Elder. 

"He is more than capable, Fugaku. You cannot coddle such a talent, when your Village needs him," the Village Elder was saying. 

"Itachi," Father had said as Itachi came in, interrupting the Elder. "This is Elder Shimura Danzo. Shimura-dono, you wanted to see Itachi." 

And the Elder looked down at Itachi and smiled. "Yes. I did. Congratulations, Uchiha Itachi. The Council has agreed to promote you to Chuunin." 

Itachi blinked, and looked to his father, who looked pale, but that might have been the orange light of the low fluorescents of their room. 

"He's too young," Father protested. 

"Nonsense. He has talent," Danzo said. "You wish to do your Clan proud, do you not, young Itachi-kun?" 

_You do the Clan proud, Itachi-kun._

"Excellent. A fine example of our next generation, and a proud shinobi of the Uchiha clan." Danzo laid his hand on Itachi's shoulder, his hand big and broad and squeezed tight enough Itachi could feel his shoulder grind a little, even through the several layers of his kimono. "I look forward to working with you, Itachi-kun." 

There was a strange look in the man's eyes, intent and dark. Itachi swallowed. 

"It is a great honour," Father said, and it almost felt like his voice was just a little too loud. "But my son has an early mission tomorrow. We shall celebrate this promotion when his cousin returns." 

"Ah yes, his cousin. Tell me, how is Shisui?" and Danzo let go of Itachi to look at Fugaku, and Itachi didn't have time to question his father, for he didn't have a mission tomorrow. But Fugaku flicked his hand dismissively, and Itachi bowed his head and left. 

*** 

Yakumi had told him Shisui had returned from his mission two days later. Normally Shisui's missions lasted a week or more, and he usually only stayed long enough to be mission ready before going out again. 

The fact that he'd come back so early was out of the ordinary, and Yakumi had told him Shisui wasn't injured - so he must have completed it early, and Itachi could tell him the news. 

Itachi was still not sure whether being chuunin was good or not - it meant he could take higher ranked missions, and surely, he'd be able to go out with Shisui to help, right? That could only be good, and his cousin could only be proud. 

But when he approached Fugaku's office, he heard raised voices. 

"You let him _what_?" 

"I had no _choice!_ It was what the clan elders decided, the Village is short-handed enough." 

"You want to hand him over to _Him_ to buy favour, you mean!" 

There was a sharp crack of flesh on flesh, and for a moment, all Itachi could hear was his own breathing, a rush of blood in his ears, and he had a kunai in his hand. 

"Remember your _place_ , Shisui!" 

The screen door suddenly slammed open and Shisui stormed out, turned and saw Itachi. 

For a brief, sharp moment, there was blood red in shisui's eyes, before he blinked and they were dark again. 

There was a dark mark on Shisui's face, reddening rapidly like the shape of a hand. 

"Itachi-kun," Shisui said, his gaze flicking down to the kunai in Itachi's hand. "Ah. Congratulations on your. Promotion." 

"Is." Itachi started, stopped. "You are back early." 

"Our illustrious Clan Head sent me a bird," Shisui said. "I had to come back as soon as I heard you were the Uchiha's newest. And youngest. Chuunin." 

Shisui's mouth twisted, like he was trying to force it into a smile, but his mouth wanted to grimace. It was. Not a good look for his cousin, and Itachi shifted his weight to his back foot, almost worried it was a henge. Some sort of attack. 

"No. I. Itachi-kun." Shisui shook his head. "Come to my room, alright? I'm sorry I didn't bring any dango back for you. But… I have to tell you something, about your new status. What it means to be Chuunin. Luckily," he glanced back to Fugaku's silent office door. "You had not been alone since you were promoted." 

*** 

Even though Shisui had made it sound like it must have been urgent, since he'd rushed home at getting the news of Itachi's promotion, Shisui couldn't seem to start talking. 

He'd sat Itachi down at the table, and fussed at making tea, walking back and forth like he couldn't remember where his teapot and tea cups were, then where his kettle or tea leaves were, taking out the coffee then putting it back and three types of tea before settling on a light white-tea. 

But finally he was sitting opposite Itachi, hands fisted on his knees as he stared down at the table and the steaming cup, its sibling nestled in Itachi's hands. 

"You think I should not have accepted the promotion. I am not qualified," Itachi said, after a long moment of breathing the light scent of tea in the invisible steam. 

It made sense. Itachi might have graduated early, but Shisui was a battle-hardened, honed shinobi. While Itachi had maybe defended his home as a child, Shisui had been fighting on the battlefield. They were miles apart in ability. 

"What? No," Shisui looked up, his bangs sweeping from his eyes. 

The lighting here was brighter, whiter, and the dark mark on Shisui's cheek was starker. "No. No you're definitely qualified." Shisui's voice cracked, a little, at the end. 

"You think I am too young." 

Shisui's swallow was audible, a harsh, wet sound. "Yes," he said. "But not for the reason you think, little cousin." 

Shisui looked down again, back to his tea. "No. You.. when you become chuunin, you are adult. Old enough to kill for the village." 

Itachi made a questioning sound. What did that mean? 

"You've heard, surely, that if you are civilian or genin, you have to come of age before you can drink?" Shisui still didn't look up, so Itachi said "yes," in addition to his nod. 

"One way to become of age," Shisui's mouth twisted, just a little, shadowed and dark, "is to make chuunin rank." 

"Father is hardly going to approve of me drinking," Itachi pointed out. 

"No, he's going to pretend he doesn't know. But in the eyes of everyone else," Shisui said, and his hands must have been fisting the fabric of his pants so hard his nails were dragging into the weave. "Everyone else who _matter_ , you are adult. Old enough to kill, old enough to pay." 

"I don't understand." He didn't. And there was very little Itachi did not understand. He knew that going to the Academy, that while sometimes it was a little incomprehensible what the other children said, or did to each other, the work had always come easy to Itachi. Channeling chakra, moving and weapons. Those had never been difficult, and the teachers had always praised Itachi for knowing so much, learning so fast. Even the missions he had taken with his team, those had been easy too. Even if the others talked above his head, they only called him a baby once, before he'd proved himself. 

What did he not understand? It had to be why Shisui didn't want him to be Chuunin. 

"The jounin of this village," Shisui said, quietly, "Work very hard to protect us all. It is a very hard, very dangerous job." 

Shisui was a jounin, Itachi didn't say, because this wasn't getting any easier to understand. Or rather, he wasn't sure he understood the relevance. 

"To keep them happy, and eager to return to the Village, to keep wanting to protect the Village, they may take any chuunin as their own." 

Itachi stayed silent. Their… own? 

"Shimura Danzo is a jounin, maybe even higher," Shisui said. And he was looking up now, and Itachi realised suddenly, his eyes were wet. "Please, little cousin. You _must_ stay away from him." 

*** 

Shisui could only stay another day, before he had to return to the field. He never told Itachi whether it was to complete the mission he'd returned early from, or a new one, but he hugged Itachi and made him konbu onigiri before he left again. 

Avoiding Danzo was easy. As a chuunin, now, he no longer had to take missions with his genin team, and instead could take C- and B-ranks on his own. Some of them were outside the Village, and when he was not on a mission, he stayed in the Clan compound and played with Sasuke. 

The few times he saw Danzo around the Hokage tower, the man did make an effort to come and talk to him but after Shisui's words, the way Danzo _looked_ at Itachi, and touched his shoulder made him uncomfortable, and think of the way Shisui's eyes had looked so wet, kneeling at the table. Itachi was polite, and made sure to be within eyeshot and hearing of other shinobi when he did have to speak to Danzo, and that was as far as Danzo got with 'taking' him. 

*** 

"Hey, Uchiha, heard about that B-rank in Snow, not a bad showing eh?" 

Itachi paused in the hallway, turning to look back at the tokubetsu jounin sauntering up to him. Itachi'd memorized all the names of the jounin and tokubetsu jounin within his first week at the Academy, it was a simple enough task. 

"Thank you, Yamashiro-san," he said politely. 

"Eh, senpai, you can call me senpai," Yamashiro Aoba said, dropping his arm around Itachi's shoulders. With their height difference, Aoba leaned quite a bit of weight on Itachi, which Itachi braced for, eyebrows furrowing. "After all, I can't be so _distant_ from my own juniors eh?" 

His smile was wide, perfectly friendly, and it wasn't his fault that Itachi didn't generally like anyone but his cousin being so physically familiar. 

"Loosen up! You came back all safe and sound, your pretty hair not even ruffled, should be smiling, hey?" 

"As you say, Yamashiro-san." 

"So serious! That is what all the Uchiha are like, huh?" Aoba tugged at his Itachi's ponytail. Before Itachi could duck out under his hold, though, another voice called out, a little too close to Itachi's comfort. 

"Oy, Aoba, you're late!" 

"Yare, yare," Aoba said, straightening just a little. Hand still on Itachi's shoulder but it wasn't like he was leaning on Itachi anymore so Itachi'd take it. "Got distracted, you know that Snow mission?" 

"Heard Shiranui got lead on it, had an Uchiha partner," Ebisu said, eyebrow arching behind his sunglasses. 

"Yeah," Aoba said, smiling. "This is him." 

Ebisu looked at him, with the sunglasses like that, Itachi couldn't quite tell what he was looking at. "Well Shiranui was right about him. But you're still late, Aoba. Room's still booked." 

"I know, right?" Aoba squeezed Itachi's shoulder. "We could take him along." 

"I wouldn't want to interrupt your training, Aoba-san. Ebisu-san." the way Aoba was touching him was perfectly friendly, and Ebisu's gaze was - well, tangible but nothing more than that. So why did he feel a little, off? 

"Nah, no worries, you know, Shiranui did mention that you were a little off. Little genius at ninjutsu at all, but you know hardly field ready." 

"Not field ready? If Shiranui-taicho had problems with my performance, he would have told me." 

Ebisu snorted. "Sure he would. This is how he's telling you, kid." he looked at Itachi, this time obvious with the way his chin dipped. 

Aoba's grin widened, just out the corner of Itachi's eye. "Not like we offer _personal training_ to any old chuunin, little Uchiha. But hey -" 

He was already walking though, hand heavy on Itachi's shoulder, and Ebisu had turned too, starting off down the corridor towards the training room wings. "You wanna walk around with _that_ weakness in your training, that's your business." 

"Just don't expect us to make up for it, Uchiha," Ebisu said, shoving open the door and walking through. 

Had his mission with Shiranui really gone that badly? Itachi had thought he had done well enough, despite the mission starting out with Shiranui looking minorly dismayed at having, in his words, 'the tiniest fucking doll of an Uchiha I've ever seen' for a teammate. Shiranui had been curt through out the mission, snapping orders throughout on the verge of rude, but it had been completed with no injuries, despite the lack of Itachi's sharingan. 

But since Itachi had been assigned that mission, and Shiranui had been lead on it, he ought to have known anyway, and he certainly hadn't complained about the fact that Itachi's sharingan hadn't awakened, and both of them had obtained the mission objectives in the set time. The mission report had been filed and Shiranui had left as early as might be considered nominally polite, leaving itachi to collect his share of the payment and go home. 

To have it implied that Shiranui Genma hadn't been wholly pleased with the mission was - well, Itachi's pride stung. 

"Coming, Aoba?" Ebisu's voice snapped from inside the dark room. 

"Coming," Aoba said, and nudged Itachi towards the door. 

Perhaps the training was necessary after all. Itachi had to learn to get better. To be faster, perhaps. Shisui already had a reputation, and perhaps that was what Shiranui had been expecting, and been disappointed in. 

He had no sooner stepped into the room when something dropped over his eyes. 

Itachi reacted fast, jabbing his fingers up and behind, twisting to get free - 

But hands caught his wrists and there was a surge of chakra behind and infront of him, and Itachi was - still. He couldn't MOVE. 

"That took care of the sharingans," Aoba chuckled. 

"Idiot. This one doesn't have the sharingans yet." 

"Doesn't matter." Aoba leaned in, his voice purring against Itachi's ear. "Did you know the sharingan have a weaknesses, little Uchiha?" 

Itachi opened his mouth. "Let me go." 

He could try to dispel it, but he must have walked into a trap, because his chakra flow seemed sluggish. 

"This is for your own good, Uchiha," Ebisu said, from somewhere in front of him. "What if you're blinded in the field? " 

"In the dark," Aoba said, soft. Silkily, and hands were sliding down his shirt, catching at the hem. "Your sharingan would be useless then." 

"That's not true." Itachi's voice was flat, even as he twitched at the skimming of fingertips against his hips. 

Skin on skin, the heat of it made him want to flinch. 

Ebisu laughed. It sounded like a sneer on his skin, oily and cruel. "Maybe ask your cousin next time. Ask him who he spent his chuunin years on his knees for." 

And Aoba kicked the back of his knees, and Itachi went down. 

*** 

The thing was. 

The thing was, they weren't rough. 

They didn't need to be. Semi-paralysed with that seal-array that they must have set up beforehand, as a _trap_ , that Itachi hadn't noticed, should have noticed, there must have been _signs_ , Itachi couldn't even struggle effectively. 

It had taken them next to no time to strip him , binding his arms with his own shirt but leaving his fingers free as some sort of added humiliation, because his fingers were free to form seals but his chakra flow was too sluggish to get out of it. 

One of them had taken a kunai to his pants, even though he hadn't had to. Didn't need to. 

Aoba'd laughed and held him, mocking sweet as they cut his pants off and spread his knees wide. 

_Old enough to kill, old enough to pay_. 

That was where Itachi slipped up. 

He had focused on avoiding the tiger, and forgotten the snakes. 

Fingers to his mouth; he would have bitten them, if _other_ cold wet fingers hadn't pushed between his legs, and Itachi jerked, yelped, and those fingers shoved in into his mouth, hard against his tongue, almost pushing deep enough to trigger his gag reflex. 

"Do try biting," Ebisu murmured. "I'd love to see how much mark-up an Uchiha can take." 

"Those are my fingers, asshole," Aoba said. 

Itachi didn't understand. Or - he knew that what was happening was… something Shisui had tried to warn him against. He didn't know _why_ this was happening. Why him. 

"See how good a fucktoy an Uchiha can be then," Ebisu said. 

Itachi didn't bite. 

It was a reflection on the Clan, somehow. He didn't understand it fully, but performing poorly, in this, would spell poor treatment for the rest of the Clan. 

"Good boy," Ebisu said, and then something was pushing into him, tipping face first against Aoba's chest, choking him on his fingers, and - he couldn't breathe, it felt like he couldn't breathe at _all,_ , not with the, the thick, hot, huge thing pushing into him. "Such a _good_ boy." 

It hurt. It hurt and he couldn't breathe and he was - panting. 

And someone's hand was in his hair, tightening in his ponytail, twisting, "Damn, he's, gorgeous taking it. Look at that." 

"I am looking at it, idiot. Push his head down." 

Aoba laughed, and then hands, on his hips, tugging him up and back even as Aoba pushed his head down, onto - 

Onto. 

Musky scent, thick and masculine and strong, invaded Itachi's nose, and he couldn't help but jerk. 

"Fuck he tightened, incredible." 

And then fingers were pushing something into his mouth, behind his teeth, straps tugging and yanking at his hair and Itachi jerked his head, away. 

Not enough, not to avoid the thing, metallic and hard,fitting behind his teeth and stretching his jaw wide and even if he could have bitten before now there was no way he could. 

And then thick, hard bitterness was pushing against his mouth, and he couldn't stop it from pushing _in_ , sliding over his tongue, invading just at the same time that - Ebisu, behind, was pushing up into him, and the shift in angle shoved _air_ out of him so effectively he felt like he was falling. 

Vertigo. 

Someone was making little, choked wet noises, and it was him. Itachi was making those noises and he couldn't do anything but be trapped between them, their hands in his hair, his hips, holding him down and making him _take_ it - 

"Fuck, he's so tight, what did you do, he just, spasmed on me.' 

"Choked him. Liked that, Uchiha?" 

The angle of the - man in his throat was just a little too much for Itachi, he couldn't quite breathe, and that helped to overwhelm the pain of the rocking thickness in him. 

"Close?" 

"Damn close." 

Hands in his hair tightened, twisted, and Itachi keened, high and pained and then suddenly there was a jolt and - whatever was in him , the hands gripping his hips were ripped aside. 

"He is _mine_ ," growled Uchiha Shisui. "Take your hands off him, Yamashiro." 

"Hey, hey, he's not been claimed-" But the hand let go of his hair, and Aoba retreated out of his mouth. He might have dropped Itachi to the floor, but Shisui caught him. 

"I'm claiming him now. Uchiha Itachi is _mine_ , just like all the other Uchiha chuunin." Shisui was snarling and Itachi could barely hear it, over the little, wet sounds. 

Him. He was making those wet sounds. 

"Are you going to challenge me for him?" Shisui pulled him close, and the menace and danger in his voice and chakra made Itachi curl up tighter. 

"Shit, no man. You didn't claim him, we figured we'd just have a little fun." 

"Take it as a given that every Uchiha is mine," Shisui said, low and dangerous. 

Then there was smoke and then the blindfold was tugged off Itachi's face, and a blanket dropped around him. 

"Itachi-kun? Are you alright?" 

It was a stupid question. Of course Itachi wasn't, Alright. He still couldn't quite breathe, even with Shisui getting the ring out from his mouth, wrapping him in his arms till Itachi could stop shaking. 

"Shh. Shh it'll. It'll pass. It'll be alright," Shisui said, pressing a kiss to his hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't - I forgot. You were my baby _cousin_ , i thought that they would know." 

"Know - know what?" 

He was hoarse. His throat hurt. 

"That you were mine, just like every other Uchiha is. My responsibility, my protection. I was so worried about Danzo, I forgot about the others. Forgive me, itachi-kun." 

Itachi didn't know what to think about it, but. 

Once he could stop shaking. Once he could pull away,hands tight and clenched under the blanket, and look up at his cousin without blinking tears. 

"I need to train harder, cousin." Itachi pulled the blanket tighter around himself. Soon, soon he would be able to fix his hair. Get a shower. Maybe wash the touch of hands off himself. But first… he looked up at Shisui. 

"Help me train in the dark, Shisui." 

And the look in Shisui's eyes was heartbroken. 

"Of course," he said. "Anything you need, Itachi-kun."  
  
**EPILOGUE**

One year later, Itachi woke up at the light touch of someone passing through his wards, and he hadn't bothered with the lights, just snatching up a kunai and flinging it at the intruder even as he readied a few handseals. Paralysis, then a localised fireball. 

"Hey, Uchiha, I just -" a clatter and sharp ping as something slender and sharp knocked the kunai out of the way. "Seriously, you can just stop fighting. I have news for you." 

When Itachi didn't stop because Itachi's style of attack was to be rapid, vicious, and getting away. 

The intruder had to pin him against the table with half a dozen senbon until Itachi was immobilised, wide eyed and panting at the sight of the ANBU mask. 

"Well can't fault your reaction time," Rat said. "Are you ready to listen now?" 

Itachi's heart was hammering but he nodded. "Hai, Rat-san." 

The ANBU then leaned forward and plucked out a few senbon from around Itachi's arms, enough to let him get his hands free and free himself. The ANBU stood back, and held his hand out for the senbon for Itachi to deposit neatly back into his palm. 

"What was your message, Rat-san?" 

Rat tucked away his senbon, and then unhooked a blank mask from his belt, and placed it in front of Itachi with a quiet click of porcelain on wood. "This can be yours, if you want," Rat said. 

The blank, bone-white of the mask glowed in what little light there was. Itachi stared. 

ANBU came with a promotion, usually. 

He reached down, fingers hovering over the mask. It seemed to exude a coldness, but it was probably just in his mind. 

"Do I get to know who you are?" Itachi asked. 

"If you accept the promotion, then you will." 

Itachi looked up at him, the dark apparently bottomless pits of his eyes, the tied back hair that was barely visible in the dimness of his room. 

Itachi picked up the mask. 

The ANBU hummed, and then reached up to pull his mask off. 

Shiranui Genma gave Itachi a half-smirk. "Figured you'd take it. I'm going to be your squad captain from now on unless we get reassigned. You start tomorrow, Uchiha." his gaze flicked over him, this time unmasked so Itachi could see it, a strange sort of courtesy from an ANBU. "You're still kind of shrimpy, but I suppose you'll grow taller eventually." 

"Uchiha aren't very tall in the first place," Itachi said. 

"And you're going to hone those reactions, kid," Genma said, with a roll of his shoulders. "Faster, harder, sharper. You're going to need it. Welcome to ANBU."

**Author's Note:**

> According to what i can find on narutopedia, Shishui is 16 to Itachi's 12-13. Ish. Or maybe i found it on google. Shisui first met Itachi when Itachi = 5, Shisui…. 9?! You know what, fuck this shit, i'm just aging Shisui up because I can. Fuck timelines, and fuck canon. I do what i want.  
> Alternative summary is:  
> The Uchiha fails their KPIs, Ebisu and Aoba exercise their rights and claim their employee perks and benefits with sweet sweet Uchiha virgin ass. Danzo gets no Uchiha ass, but not for lack of trying.
> 
> But all the jounin have gossiped about what, exactly, had happened to Shisui during his chuunin years…. 
> 
>  
> 
> Genma only disapproved of Itachi because they assigned him a literal baby for his mission/ Sure, it's a murdery, genius baby, but can this baby slit a man's throat without a step-stool? No he can't. And that is why Genma was so grouchy through the mission, because he had to protect this baby, and then he complained about it in the jounin bar, because fucking BABY UCHIHA and then Aoba and Ebisu were like, hey wait no one's claimed _this_ UChiha. 
> 
>  
> 
> And Shisui didn't claim Itachi publicly because he was so afraid of Danzo being interested, he forgot that other people might be interested. This is his baby cousin, he didn't think other people would SEE him like that, and now he Regrets. 
> 
>  
> 
> Technically Aoba and Ebisu were within their rights to take Itachi, but Shisui claiming him from them, they didn't challenge it because Shisui is scary as fuck in a fight, and they're both only tokubetsu jounin. Shisui didn't stab them because a) within the rights and b) any stabbage like this would result in an investigation and of course Danzo would get involved and never seeing Danzo for the rest of Shisui's life would be too soon for Shisui. 
> 
>  
> 
> The reason why Fugaku didn't stab a bitch when Danzo did… THINGS to Shisui was that technically shisui was under Fugaku's proection as a chuunin, but Danzo is a slimey creepy emotionally manipulative bastard, who totally twisted Shisui up till he didn't dare admit it to Fugaku. And Danzo never did anything with witnesses, so Fugaku didn't know. 
> 
>  
> 
> More experienced, older jounin at the time Shisui was a chuunin totally guessed, but since there was nothing OVERT, they said nothing. 
> 
>  
> 
> Shisui got out of it by hitting jounin like a pinata within three years and then promptly stayed out of the village as much as humanly possible.


End file.
